


Highs and Lows and All Their Woes

by knowhowmuch



Category: My Chemical Romance
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Drug Addiction, Drug Use, Drunk Sex, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Mild Kink, Rough Sex, Sexual Content
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-31
Updated: 2013-03-31
Packaged: 2017-12-07 02:25:01
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,722
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/743086
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/knowhowmuch/pseuds/knowhowmuch
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Frank has three rules about dating:<br/>Don’t date your roommate.<br/>Don’t date your best friend.<br/>Don’t date a bandmate.<br/>And unfortunately for Mikey, he was all three of those things.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Highs and Lows and All Their Woes

**Author's Note:**

> First fandom I've written in years! Leave me some comments to make me write more! There isn't nearly enough of this pairing in existence.

Frank was so hopped up on coke he couldn’t stay still, he unconsciously bit at his cuticles as he bounded from foot to foot. From a distance, Mikey watched him internally groaning. He could tell that Frank had been using and the easy evening he was hoping for was not going to happen, because tonight wasn’t a downers night. On uppers nights like this, Frank was relentless, which meant that Frank was either going crash violently two hours from now, or coax Mikey into bed with him. It always felt good at the time, but Mikey realized that he was just teasing himself every time they slept together. 

Paying for his two beer tab, Mikey walked over to Frank who was caught looking at well, everything and nothing at the same time. Mikey grabbed his shoulder and gently pulled his friend around. The club was loud, too loud for his liking but Frank had insisted. Mikey studied Frank carefully, his pupils were totally blown out and he was acting twitchy. Frank giggled and pulled himself into Mikey’s body.

“I think you need to drink some water.” Mikey talked directly into his ear, trying to speak above the levels of the club.

“I’m fine Mikey, stop worrying about me. Gosh you’re always so worried about everything. Will you just quit it?” Frank giggled again and batted his eyelashes, as if that would gain him some sort of leverage.

Mikey rolled his eyes and leaned his forehead against Frank’s. “Not gunna happen. You know, if you leave with me now I’ll cook you a late supper.”

“But it’s so early!” Frank whined and pouted.

“It’s 2 am. Let’s go Frankie, come on, for me?”

“I don’t want dinner, I want something else.” Frank thought for a second, his thin hip cocked to the side and a smile snaked onto his face. “Gimmie a kiss.”

Mikey’s face grew hot and he pressed his lips gently against the smaller man’s. A few people turned to watch, but most people were too intoxicated to care what they were doing. Realistically, what they were doing was considered tame to what was happening out on the dance floor. He moaned into the kiss and felt Frank smirk around it. Mikey could tell right there that it was going to be one of those nights.

“You may now take me home.”

Waving goodbyes to their bandmates, Mikey quickly shuffled Frank out of the club. The two walked back to their apartment, Frank talking a thousand miles a minute as he slowly intertwined his fingers with Mikey’s as he thumbed gently over the backside of Mikey’s hand. Mikey sighed internally, hoping that maybe this time, just this once, Frank would remember this. He knew it wasn’t realistic but Mikey had gotten used to it. As they walked, Mikey tried his best to keep Frank quiet, but the drugs were crawling through his veins and it was like everything he had to say had to be said at precisely that second. 

Frank slammed Mikey against a wall outside their apartment door and attached his lips to Mikey’s neck. Mikey groaned and his hand found a place around Frank’s hips which started to buck into his own. As Frank lapped at his exposed neck and started working further down, Mikey fumbled to get the door open. He mumbled hot and incoherent into Mikey’s body, his hands not able to find a place to settle. The second the door was closed Frank pushed him playfully down onto their futon, the itchy fibers irritating at Mikey’s skin. He tried to unclasp Frank's belt, but he merely pinned Mikey's wrists above his hand and took off the taller man’s glasses. 

Every Friday this was their routine. Frank would start out by smoking a blunt, they’d meet with the other guys and start drinking, he’d disappear for a good 20 minutes and come back sniffling and jittery, then drink some more. Mikey would step in when Frank started flirting with a sketchy stranger or started to pick a fight. About half the time Frank would come onto him, the other half Mikey would spend the night simply holding onto him as he lost his stomach in the toilet. Either way it happened, Mikey would clear up the mess effectively pushing the reset button and they’d start the whole dance over again because Frank could never remember anything past the coke and Mikey just didn’t have the heart to tell him otherwise.

"You look so good like this, pinned beneath me.” Frank took the belt out from his pants and wrapped it around Mikey’s wrists and to the wooden arm of the futon, Making it so his own hands were once again free. “I want to hear you scream my name.”

Frank bit down against Mikey’s collar bone and the taller man bucked up into Frank’s hips. Frank unbuckled Mikey’s pants and shimmied them down his thighs, tossing them carelessly to the side. Scraping his short nails across Mikey’s stomach he used his free hand to knead over his crotch. Mikey’s eyes rolled slightly and he muttered incoherently. Frank pulled up and smashed this mouths together violently, nipping at Mikey’s lips and clashing their teeth together.

“Can you be a good boy while I go get some stuff?”

Mikey nodded eagerly causing Frank to giggle, he went to his room, returning with a condom and a small bottle of lubricant. Taking off his shirt and pants, he straddled Mikey’s crotch and grinded into him, lapping at his nipples and causing the taller man to whine. Frank slipped off Mikey’s boxers and shimmied down towards is member and started sucking on the head. As he did this, he opened the bottle squirting a generous amount of lubricant onto his fingers. Prodding at Mikey’s entrance he slipped one finger, then two inside stretching his opening.

“Frank, quit teasing.”

“Say please,” Frank hummed around Mikey’s dick.

“Please Frank, please fuck me?” Mikey’s voice was choked and needy.

Ripping open the package with his teeth, Frank pulled off his boxers and rolled the condom onto himself. He turned Mikey over abruptly so that he was on his hands and knees, his wrists twisting tighter in the belt. Frank lined himself up and pushed inside, his nails digging into his partner’s hips. He didn’t give Mikey much time to adjust, slamming in and out, leaning up every once and awhile to attach his lips to his back. Mikey moaned with each thrust, wishing his hands were free so that he could take care of himself, when he asked to, Frank refused.

“Let me take care of you, Mikey.”

Frank started to thrust deeper, finally finding Mikey’s prostate. Frank snaked his hand around Mikey’s cock and began to jerk it in time to his thrusts. Mikey cried out Frank’s name within a few minutes, cumming on a combination of the couch and Frank’s fingers. Frank guided his hand to Mikey’s mouth.

“I want you to lick your mess off my fingers.”

Mikey did as he was instructed, carefully cleaning each finger with his mouth. Frank came with a groan and slumped into Mikey’s back kissing the taut skin carefully. After a minute, Frank untied Mikey and stroked his face carefully. Mikey rubbed his wrists, when Frank was into rough play he was always pretty serious about it. Frank pecked him gently on the cheek and stumbled his way into his own room.

Placing his glasses back on his face, Mikey began cleaning up their mess. He fixed the cushions on the futon, cleaning off the furniture with a damp cloth and gathered up their clothes. When he finished, he wandered over to Frank’s room, seeing him sprawled out on the bed, still naked. Mikey slipped a t-shirt and boxer shorts on him and aided him under the covers. He left the room and quickly returned to sit Frank up and feed him some Tylenol and a few sips of water. Kissing him firmly on the cheek, Mikey left for his own room, settling into his cold lonely bed.

~*~*~*~*~

“Why do you let him do it?” Gerard breathed into the phone and Mikey could practically hear how he rubbed at his temples in frustration.

“He’s an adult, it’s his decision to wreck his body with drugs.”

“No I mean why do you let him manipulate you into picking up all the pieces. It must get old taking care of him.”

Mikey hesitated for a moment. “He’s my best friend. I’d do the same for you.”

Gerard rolled his eyes, Mikey was so translucent that it was painful to listen to him dance around the subject. “You’re in love with him, aren’t you?”

“Yeah,” Mikey sighed and sank down into the couch. “I kinda am.”

“You’re in love with him, you have sex with him on a continuing basis. And you’re trying to tell me that he has no idea about any of this?”

“If he does, he doesn’t acknowledge it at all. He’d be devastated if he realized how out of control he was when he’s high. He has these rules, you know-”

“Fuck Frank’s stupid rules.”

“It’s easy to say but like, they make sense. What if we started dating but then we broke up and it wasn’t amicable, we’d take the band down with us. And then what about the apartment, there’s no way we’d be able to find sub-letters for this card shack...”

“That’s a great list of excuses and all, but you should just tell him, use it to your advantage to make him quit.”

Mikey wanted to believe that that would work. Wanted to think that if he laid out the ultimatum for Frank to choose either him or the drugs that he’d choose Mikey. But there was that part of Mikey that was afraid that the choice wouldn’t be an easy one to Frank. That maybe Mikey wasn’t even a real option beyond the semi-consistent drug-hazy fuck.

“I gotta go do some errands, Mikey, think about it okay? You deserve better than being some forgotten fuck.”

“I will, I know. I’ll call you later.”

Mikey put the phone down on the coffee table, took off his glasses and buried his face into his hands. He knew what he was doing with Frank wasn’t healthy, but he just couldn’t bring himself to ask Frank to stop. He figured that he would run out of steam eventually and crash when he quit, or that when they were done with the new album and on tour that he would realize he couldn't keep up inebriated. Mikey shuddered at the thought of taking care of Frank like this on tour, it was easy when they were home, but it was getting harder and harder to help him hide his addiciton. It had been three months now and it was looking like it the problem wasn’t going to self-correct. Mikey was already prepared to take care of all that with him.

“What’s with the scarf?” Frank yawned and popped his joints as he shuffled towards the coffee pot.

“I’m just chilly.” In actuality, last night Frank had demolished his neck and left hickies that were too deep to be covered by makeup alone.

Frank grinned and plopped down on the couch next to Mikey. The taller man hunched down and let his head fall on Frank’s tattooed shoulder. “You gotta stop doing that."

“Doing what?”

“Being so damn cute.”

“Oh, sorry.”

“Don’t be.” Frank grinned and picked his beloved Pansy up to strum out a few quick chords.

“So, what did you want to do tonight?” Mikey twiddled his thumbs, awaiting Frank’s normal response.

It was Saturday night, and it wasn’t atypical for Saturday nights to be spent the same way that Friday nights were. The only difference that Frank was usually sick Saturday nights, two nights in a row of heavy usage usually left him worshiping the toilet bowl. But Mikey accepted the good with the bad, and would follow Frank if he chose to go out.

Frank thought for a moment as he put his guitar back. “I’m kinda tired today. I was thinking that we’d take it easy and spend some time together. We never get best friend/ roommate time anymore, ya know?”

Mikey felt a smile so wide gather to his face that he felt like it would crack. “You mean it?”

“Absolutely. I’ll go get us some groceries. We haven’t cooked together in a while, either.”

Mikey practically felt his stomach flip as Frank left their apartment, wallet and keys and a mission in hand. It wasn’t often that Frank stayed in on a weekend, it was something they hadn’t done since he started on the cocaine. Frank came back an hour later, redbox rentals in his mouth and six bags of groceries in either hand. Mikey rolled his eyes, astounded that Frank’s laziness to climb up and down the flights of stairs multiple times had forced him to lug so much up at once. Mikey relieved him of the weight and they began to cook their supper.

Frank cracked open two beers and sunk down into the couch watching Mikey fiddle with the wires of their DVD player. He lit up a joint and inhaled it deeply. Mikey’s nose crinkled slightly in disappointment, was hoping that Frank would just stick to the beers, but still counted himself lucky that they were spending this time together.

They watched two different horror flicks. Mikey complaining the whole time about how electronics becoming cheaper allowed any idiot with an idea to record his vision. That even if they were categorized as B-films, they would never shine quite as brightly in his mind as the bad horror flicks from his childhood. Frank listened intently, watching the way Mikey’s mouth moved and laughed at all the appropriate times. As the last movie ended Frank got up and went to his room, under the ruse of getting a sweater, and popped a vicodin into his mouth.

The two cleaned and finished their beers. As the vicodin slowly worked its way into Frank’s system he felt light and airy and... he stumbled slightly over his own feet. Mikey grabbed him quickly seeing the fall and caught him in his arms. The two stood there in silence, Frank breathing in the scent of his best friend gently. He looked up to Mikey, his thick framed glasses slightly askew and his honey brown hair tousled.

“Oh gosh, oh wow. Mikey.” Frank purred and slouched into Mikey’s slender form. “You’re so beautiful, I don’t know how I don’t get stuck looking at you all the time like this. Can I kiss you?”

Mikey nodded gently and their lips connected, Frank on his tiptoes, leveraging himself slightly on Mikey’s bony hips. Frank pulled away flushed and giggling. He placed kisses gently on Mikey's collar. Mikey's eyes fluttered. In his mind he just kept hoping that maybe this time, this was for real. Maybe this time this was Frank and not the drugs.

“Can I tell you a secret?”

Mikey nodded slightly and brushed his hands against Frank’s sides. “Yeah, sure.”

“I’ve been having these dreams. We come home from nights like this and we have totally mind blowing sex, the kind where I’m fucking you into the sheets. And you know what else? I’ve wanted it for so long I just can’t resist anymore. Mikey, the thought of you laying there flushed underneath me, it’s practically driving me crazy. So I guess what I’m trying to say is why don’t we go to my bedroom and see if we can make my dreams a reality.”

Frank was rambling, when he did that Mikey knew that the drugs were working Frank’s tongue as fast as Frank was working Mikey over. But Mikey couldn’t get himself to care because any affection he could get from Frank was positive attention, even if it wasn’t really him talking. Plus, as far as Mikey was concerned he had only smoked a little pot and drank two beers. Even though Frank was a small man, Mikey couldn’t imagine that that was quite enough to make him how he usually was. The two slipped into Frank’s bedroom, Frank straddling Mikey lightly as they landed softly on his bed. He rubbed his hands through Mikey’s hair, smoothing it down gently.

“Mikey, when I look at you like this I realize how much I love you.”

Against his better judgement, Mikey’s heart fluttered. “I love you too, Frank.”

They pushed their lips gently together and kissed languidly, slowly stripping off their clothes. Mikey’s hands wandered freely across Frank’s tattooed form, trying to memorize every detail of his skin. They made love slowly, Frank taking his time to pleasure Mikey in ways he had never bothered to before. Mikey withered underneath Frank, as they came together, breaths huffing and the room stilling around them. Frank pulled out and pulled Mikey down next to him. Mikey attempted to shift up and out of the bed but Frank whined desperately for him not to leave. This was good though, because if Frank meant what he said and they were really going to do this than Mikey needed to stop running away and cleaning up afterwards.

~*~*~*~

Frank slowly woke up, his head spinning. He felt sticky and sore, and he desperately needed an adderall and a cup of coffee to make him more cognizant. He rolled over to the edge of his bed to grab a pill, but instead rolled into the slender form of his best friend. Frank felt sick to his stomach when he realized that they were both naked.

On shaky legs, he slipped out of bed and pulled on a t-shirt and a pair of pajama pants. Mikey hadn’t stirred and Frank couldn’t help but stare at his slender frame. The slender frame of the one person he always told himself he wouldn’t go after, because going after Mikey would take everything away from him. Frank shivered and walked into the kitchen, to separate himself from these feelings and to try to quell his cravings for caffeine.

Mikey woke up as the aroma of coffee filled their apartment. Pulling on a pair of Frank’s boxers he padded into their kitchen. Frank’s back was turned to him and Mikey couldn’t help but notice how the muscles in his back flexed smoothly as he went about his task. He pushed himself against Frank’s back and planted a tender kiss on his tattooed neck.

“You should come back to bed, it’s warm in there.”

Frank nodded stiffly and pushed himself away from Mikey. His heart leapt up in his throat as he tried to find his words. “Whatever I did, we did last night, I’m sorry.”

“You don’t have to be sorry, Frank.” Mikey grinned and tried to push himself into Frank’s arms. “Because it was great, you don’t apologize for good things.”

“I do, Mikey, because it was a mistake. We shouldn’t have done that.”

The taller man froze and didn’t speak, because he couldn’t bring himself to acknowledge what was happening. This time was supposed to be different, this time Frank wasn’t hopped up on coke and this time Frank had said... Frank poured himself a cup of coffee and edged around Mikey to get back into his room. He settled on the bed, cross legged with coffee balanced between his thighs as he started fumbling to open the pill bottle. Mikey had followed him into the room though, and ripped the bottle out of his hand and clutched it in his own.

“You can’t fucking do this to me, Frank.”

“I’m not doing anything to you Mikey, that’s sort of the point. Can I please have that?”

“Forget the fucking pills!” Mikey slammed the bottle into the wall across the room. “Would it kill you to be sober around me?”

“Look, I’m sure what we did was like, totally different and fun and I’m sure you were great. But there’s nothing to say about it Mikey, it was a drunken mistake and I’d rather keep it that way. I don’t date-”

“Oh sure you don’t date bandmates, or roommates, or best friends and that means especially not me. But it’s totally okay for you to try and jump me every night because fucking is just fucking. Right Frank?”

“I-”

“I can’t keep doing this with you, Frank. I can’t keep enabling you and letting you use me like some sort of fuck toy.”

“You’re not. Mikey, I really don’t know what you want me to say right now.”

Mikey went into his room, adjacent to Frank’s and grabbed a bag from his closet. He walked fervently around his room and started throwing shirts and other necessities into it. Frank got up and walked over to the hallway, watching as Mikey packed his things. He quietly took a seat on the edge of Mikey’s bed and grabbed his hand in his own. Mikey looked at him, eyes sad and desperate for answers.

“I could forgive you for every other time but not this Frank, not after last night.”

Frank gulped, the lump in his throat making him feel like he was practically choking. “Have we, have we done this before?”

“At least once a week since the week after we moved in together, same time you started the coke.” Mikey ripped his hand out of Franks and pulled a hoodie on, scoffing. “I knew that you didn’t remember any of it, but I can’t actually believe I have to hear you say it. Some stupid part of me thought you would, I guess. Or that you were just too shy and too worried to try and talk about it.”

“What do you want me to say?” Frank asked again, more persistent this time.

“Tell me that last night, that you meant it when you said you love me, that it wasn’t the drugs talking.”

Frank’s face drained of all color and he looked down. The room was thick with their silence as Mikey shouldered his bag and started to leave their apartment. Frank got up and tried to grab him, wanted to explain but couldn’t. When his hand touched Mikey’s shoulder the taller man responded by slamming Frank into the wall.

“You know, at least before you weren’t manipulating me with “I love you’s”. Fuck you Frank, you can go to hell.”

~*~*~*~*~

Frank was so strung out on drugs he could hardly stand up straight, he watched the space heater nod back and forth spreading its heat to the surroundings.When there was a knock at his door he couldn’t get himself off the couch because the door, though only 8 feet away, seemed like it was miles away. The person on the other side was relentless, though, and Frank could vaguely hear them shuffling around trying to find their spare key. Or was it his spare key? Frank couldn’t help but wonder which way it would go, now that Mikey hadn’t been home in nearly a week.

“Oh are you fucking kidding me?” Gerard tossed the keys down on the coffee table and pulled his messenger bag off of his shoulder. “Frank, what the hell are you doing?”

“I’m just trying to relax, Gee. Geesh.”

Before Frank had time to comprehend what was happening, Gerard had ripped him up under his armpit and was dragging him into the bathroom. He turned on the shower, not caring of a temperature and threw Frank into the water fully clothed. Frank blinked a few times and looked up at Gerard, whose eyes were burning with anger.

“Is this relaxing enough for you?” The older man spat and sat on the seat of the toilet.

“I suppose it has to be.”

"What have you been on today? There's no use lying about it either."

“I took two 5mg tabs of valium and smoked some weed.”

Gerard rolled his eyes. “And do you care to explain to me, why the fuck my little brother is currently bawling?”

Frank sat there simply letting the water fall across his face. He slowly sobered and the consciousness was terrifying. “I didn’t know we’d been having sex. I just thought-”

Gerard interrupted him. “You can’t tell me you were actually that fucking drugged out. That you didn’t know you’d been having sex for over three months.”

Embarrassment swept across Frank’s cheeks and Gerard groaned in agitation. Slamming his hand against his forehead while Frank sat in the shower, his mind still drifting in and out of being incoherent and totally lucid. Gerard reached into his pocket and lit a cigarette, he inhaled the smoke deeply and let it out, leaning over to turn on the exhaust fan.

"It's just as much his fault, though.” Gerard spoke after a few minutes. “He's the one who chose to enable you."

“Don’t you fucking blame him for this.” Frank snapped. “This isn’t his fault. Oh God, Gerard, I can’t believe I let him walk out like that.”

Frank pulled himself out from the showers stream, falling into the sink in the process. His whole world was moving at a snail’s pace, he could hardly get himself up. Gerard grabbed him by the shirt and all but slammed his face into the mirror. His breath fogged up the glass, the cool sensation causing him to wince softly.

“You are fucking disgusting, look at yourself! It’s a wonder he didn’t leave a long time ago!"

And Frank did. He had dark purple circles rounding the underside of his blood shot eyes. His skin was peakish and his nostrils were red and chapped. His greasy hair was plastered to the side of his drawn face. He looked thin, and not the good kind but the sort where you're not eating because your priority is drinking, smoking or snorting some form of chemical. Frank tried to sink to his knees, but Gerard held him up against his chest.

"You need help, Frank. These drugs are all just a mask, you need to figure your shit out and stop taking it out on your liver and my brother.”

“I was just afraid, okay?” Frank sobbed. “I liked him since the day I met him, but then the band and we were best friends and then when he suggested we move in together. I just couldn’t fucking resist. But I didn’t want to fuck things up so I tried to distract myself with the drugs, I didn’t think they’d get so out of hand.”

“So much for your fucking rules, huh? Look where they fucking got you now. Now you’re a fucking addict, and you’ve driven Mikey away. You’re a fucking disaster, a self-profiling prophecy.”

Frank broke away and barged into his room. Dodging back and forth he alternated between ripping open drawers and pulling his mattress off the box spring. Gerard walked in quietly, leaned against the door frame and watched Frank frantically spin around his room, gathering a pile of drugs on the floor. When Frank could find no more, he shoved past Gerard and into the kitchen. Turning on the faucet and garbage disposal he ripped open baggies and washed them down with alcohol.

He let out a huge sob and crumpled to the floor, Gerard sliding down next to him and allowing him to weep into his chest. “I-I think I need help.”

“Then let’s get you some.”

~*~*~*~*~

“Hi, Mikey. Uhmm. It’s Frank, again. I just wanted to let you know that I’ve got a group therapy tonight so I’ll be back late. I made some dinner it’s in the fridge for you if you decide to come home tonight.” Frank paused for a minute, trying to decide what to say next. “I really hope you come home tonight, I miss you more than anything. I love you.”

Mikey hung up his phone after listening to the message and let his head drop to his brother’s kitchen table.

“I assume that was Frank, again?”

“Yeah.” Mikey sighed softly and sat up.

It was the fourteenth call, Frank had called him every day for the past two weeks. Mikey had been hiding at his brother’s sleeping on the couch not wanting to face Frank. Gerard had dutifully allowed him, comforting him as needed, but he was getting slightly tired of watching his brother mope around.

“I was there yesterday, he looks pretty good. You can already tell he’s gaining back some healthy weight.”

Mikey huffed. “Stop trying to convince me to go back.”

“I’m not, I’m just giving you a status update.”

“It makes me feel like I should go back.”

“Maybe it’s time that you do.”

Mikey sniffed and looked at his phone again. Along with the phone calls, Frank had sent him a few texts. Basic things, asking what he would want for dinner, what movie he should rent tonight, if Mikey remembered if they had run out of shaving cream, because Frank was pretty sure that they had. Mikey wanted more than anything in the world to respond, but was afraid. If he went back, would he just be enabling the behaviors again, what if nothing had really changed, as Gerard claimed? He knew that his brother wouldn’t go out of his way to lie, but what if Frank had tricked him too.

As if he had read his mind, Gerard responded. “He’s changed, Mikey. I’m not a sucker like you.”

Mikey's voice went quiet and he looked down guiltily. “You really think I’m a sucker?”

Gerard rolled his eyes and cast his arm over Mikey's shoulder affectionately. “Yeah, in a good way though. Like, you trust everyone you love and sometimes it bites you in the ass. Like, all this right now.”

Mikey went to his make-shift bed and began packing his bag. Pulling on his coat and shouldering his bag, he pulled his older brother into a hug and started the drive home. The whole drive home he was flooded with anticipation. This was the longest time he had gone without seeing Frank since he had joined the band. He parked his car on the roadside and made his way inside.

Hesitantly, Mikey opened the door to the apartment and shut it firmly behind him. He hung up his coat and looked around quietly. The apartment was cleaner than it had ever been, the kitchen was spotless, the cushions on the couch were perfectly aligned and even their massive DVD collection had been reconfigured alphabetically. Opening the refrigerator, Mikey noticed the plate of eggplant parmesan set aside for him, as promised. Shutting the fridge, he figured that they may as well talk then, as opposed to avoiding it.

When Mikey didn’t see Frank in his room he got nervous. He knew that Frank said he’d be back late, but 11pm seemed a bit too late for a therapy session. Sighing heavily in disappointment Mikey opened the door to his own room. He was startled by the site of Frank curled up on his made bed, Mikey’s folded laundry against his back. Mikey felt his heart melt a little, seeing Frank’s soft frame in such a prone position made him long for the smaller man. Mikey moved the clothes off the bed and onto the desk.

Taking off his shoes he hesitantly joined Frank’s side, but upon wrapping his arms around him noticed that his shirt was damp with a cold sweat. He shook Frank’s shoulder gently. “Hey, Frank, hey. Your shirt is soaked through, I’m gunna help you change it okay?”

Sleepy Frank groaned and shook his head. “It’s fine, I can do it.”

“You sure?” Mikey wasn't used to Frank taking care of these sorts of things himself.

“Yeah. Do you mind if I borrow one of these?” He gestured over to the neat pile Mikey had moved and the taller man nodded.

Frank’s movements were deliberate and pained, his muscles refuting with every gesture. Mikey couldn’t help but look longingly at Frank’s exposed form, his tattoos rippling as his muscles flexed. His skin was a warm olive color again, certainly better than the past few times Mikey had seen him strung out. Gerard was right, he had gained some weight back. Mikey didn’t realize it until now, but Frank really had been looking sick all this time. Frank noticed Mikey’s staring as he turned around and a blush flew across his cheeks.

“Sorry, it’s the withdraw. My body is seizing up a little and I’ve soaked my shirt every night for the past two weeks.”

“How are you feeling?”

Frank looked down embarrassed. “The cravings are really bad, I’ve been kind of cranky. My doctor has me on a small dose of Phenobarbital, to try and help keep the edge off.”

Mikey nodded solemnly.

“The day after you left, Gerard came over and it helped me realized a lot. I got rid of everything.” He sat a few feet away from Mikey and looked down at his feet. Mikey scotched next to him and his hand found it’s way wrapped around his waist, and he leaned Frank’s head down on his shoulder.

“I’m proud of you.”

“I’m not. I should have realized a long time ago. And I shouldn’t have said what I said to you, I was just afraid. You fit into every aspect of my life, I’m just terrified something is going to go wrong and that I’d lose everything. It wasn’t until Gerard pointed out that I’d done all that myself, that I realized how much I’d fucked it all up already.”

Mikey pulled them both down to his bed, their noses gently touching. “I want to fix this, Frank. Because despite what you thought before, I think you and I deserve a fighting chance. I won’t enable you any more, I promise you that. But I will be here every step of the way while you try to get better.”

Their lips met gently, and Frank realized that this was the first time he and Mikey had shared a kiss where he was not inebriated in any way. It felt good, but terrifying. Mikey’s glasses fogged from Frank’s hot breath, causing the two men to laugh gently. Frank cupped the taller man’s face affectionately, rubbing his cheeks with calloused fingers.

“I love you, Mikey. I always have.”

“I love you too, Frank."


End file.
